Marrakech, Morocco

My month on the road continues in Morocco. It's my first time visiting Africa. My friends made me feel safe being somewhere with a reputation of being unsafe for western women! The boat docked in Casablanca. The movie Casablanca honestly doesn't do Morocco justice considering the point of the movie is escaping. Stay awhile. 

If you love photography the way I do please head to Marrakech. This is a city with seemingly no traffic laws and thousands of vendors. The main square and side streets are jammed with food stalls. In the United States we have nothing that feels the way this place does.  People are everywhere and things are moving faster then in my hometown of New York City. With all the colors, sounds, and smells it's hard to know where to look first. 

The main square (Jemma el-Fnaa) features row upon row of open barbecues. We tried everything from couscous, almond desserts, to the local teas. There we were eating chicken on a stick in Morocco with at least two thousand other people. That is the most memorable night of my trip so far. At night the lights come on in the square and you can explore until the early hours of the morning. You never know where life will take you and I hope it takes you to Marrakech, Morocco!

The Festival of San Jordi in Barcelona

Hola from Barcelona!

Today is a huge holiday in Barcelona called the Festival of San Jordi. Ladies get roses and men get the gift of books. This is such a fun concept! Roses were everywhere today along with streets full of booksellers.

One of the coolest things about today is that I got to see so many buildings designed by Antoni Gaudi. The Sagrada Familia cathedral is a palace of light and color. Color reflects on the pillars and on the floor. The cathedral is still and has been under construction for hundreds of years. I've seen other cathedrals in Europe but this is totally my favorite. Gaudi also designed La Pedrera which has a glorious rooftop garden. Imagine living in an apartment building with a rooftop garden full of mosaic sculptures. I'll share more from Barcelona tomorrow.

Currently:

1. These are some photographs from Dad's wedding palooza. It's great to have some new photographs of my family to share.  Karen looked so pretty!  I had a pretty fun week being surrounded by family and friends. Going to a parent's wedding was always a dream of mine. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall at the first wedding so when a time machine comes out you can bet I'll be there. There's some pressure when you want everything to go perfectly for the people you love.  A wedding for 30 of your closest friends at your own bed and breakfast is a pretty cool way to go. All five of my new siblings are pretty damn cool.  My very southern brother in-law, Chad wants to change my name to Say-rah. What do you think?We had total run of the place and at least five kinds of cake. How awesome is Katie dog in those sunglasses? Special thanks to my bestie who flew in for the day. You're extra awesome. 

2. All of the tragedy in Boston happened a few hours after the "rents" left for their honeymoon in Italy from Logan airport in Boston. I've been following the capture of the suspects all week and it was intense just watching it on television. I can not imagine doing my job with people throwing grenades and wearing bombs. I'm so relieved they caught both bombers. I've spent tons of time at all the locations in Boston effected. My first paid writing gig was covering Mayor Menino. I so happy things can get back to normal and we can remember the good in people. 

3. My friend Jairek Robbins and work buddy convinced me to join him on a trip to Europe for two weeks. I've never been to some of this places like Spain, Monaco, parts of ancient France, and we even hit up Africa for Morocco. He's convincing about the importance of actually living out all of your travel dreams. I've never regretted taking a trip. My next blog post will have lots of photos from all over Europe. 

4. I recently finished two books, Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg and a biography of Lilly Pulitzer by Kathryn Livingston called, Lilly.  I'm behind on my goal of reading 52 books this year. I've read 9 and I'm 6 behind. I'm going to have one week at the end of this year where all I'm allowed to do is read books. Lean In is not as controversial as everybody says. It is a breath of fresh air to read something that discusses feminism in 2013. Feminism isn't something my friends and I discuss. I related to her comments that women often feel like they should, "check out" on building their careers if they want to have a family one day. It's a real feeling. I also related to her comments that's it hard for young women to seek mentorship from a male boss. Ergo, things in the world of equal aren't there yet. Lilly Pulitzer inspires me because she launched a fashion line with zero skills and training.

I watched MAKERS the PBS series on feminism and it's hard to believe women ever had to do things like break into marathons and go rogue to be runners. Can you believe how much stuff has changed since our Grandmas were 25? Airlines used to fire a girl when she hit a certain age because it was time for her to settle down. I don't think young women know how each little bit was fought for. This world is something else! I've been trying to pen a post about feminism for weeks so here it is: MORE FEMINISM please.  A girl's full time job is not working on becoming more likeable. 

5. Planning TEDxUpperEastSide continues to roll on. I have so many to-dos that they're all in the kind of obsessive Excel sheet I usually mock. There's budgeting, e-mailing, questions to ask, setting up the space, goody bags, and more upon more. It is so educational. Also, it seems to be the kind of project where I have to let go a bit and let the universe guide my steps. We've sold our first tickets which is just so cool.

6. A few days after Europe is Bloggers in Sin City. Apparently, I'll be sleeping when I'm dead.

7. The soup kitchen I volunteer and work with is letting my re-brand all their marketing materials. I remember when just calling myself a designer felt scary. I'm finding the confidence to help people.

8. I used the Chrome extension StayFocused to lockup Facebook and Twitter. I'm a social media addict so it's almost a relief that I can set a daily limit and then those sites are verbotten for the rest of the day. The extension will send you wry messages if you try to break into these websites or give yourself more time. It's amazing how much stuff gets done when you get rid of that stuff.

9. Have you seen Gympact? It pays you to workout and you pay it when you forget to check-in at the gym. I'm curious to start using this! I've been going to the house of spinning here in New York called, SoulCycle. The loud pop music and flamboyant instructors are great motivation. They could ignite a brick wall.

10. I have so many new fitness goals that began with becoming a yoga teacher. I want to run a half marathon because that would make me feel so strong!

52 Lists: Things I'm Proud of:

This list comes from Morea Seal's 52 Lists project and is such a cool way to take inventory of your life. Coming up with things that I'm proud of took awhile. We aren't encouraged to think about what makes us proud. Why is that? I don't think pride is a sin. If I could change one thing about the world I'd make tons of pride a great thing to have. 
  1. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I don’t hold back warmth.
  2. People actually stop me on the street in my neighborhood to tell me it's cool that I smile so often.
  3. I'm naturally mischievous. 
  4. To me, the most underrated characteristic is spirit/soul.
  5. Being gutsy matters to me.
  6. Not that much scares me
  7. When it comes to guys, I love them smart and funny.
  8. My spiritual self is one I picked and there's no words for it in the dictionary.
  9. I have so many interests despite outside pressure to pick just one.
  10. Living with a terminally ill parent for nine years made me strong and compassionate.
  11. I set big and only the most ambitious goals for myself.
  12. I have friends that have been around my entire life and continue to have me around.
  13. I love to make people laugh.
  14. I constantly feel like there's, "more to do" in this gift we call life.
  15. I'm pretty darn honest.
  16. I've been told I'm rebel and wild. It warms my geek heart.
  17. I love learning and have always loved reading.
  18. I've fought sexism at different points in my life.
  19. The coolest thing I’ll do in this life is be my Grandmothers’ granddaughter.
  20. I will always remember calling my Grandmother when I passed the deep water swimming test at summer camp. 
  21. I got to see my Dad graduate from chef school. That was the definition of inspiring.
  22. I tell my Dad everything. Single parents rock.
  23. When family members tell me I write like my Grandpa Lenny I imagine what I call, “an earthquake of awesome.” Grandpa Lenny is the coolest person I’ve ever met.
  24. I asked my Stepmother to adopt me in the court of, “awesome.”
  25. I have five brothers and sisters. Not to mention a niece.
  26. While working in a soup kitchen I saved the life of a suicidal man who had just overdosed on antidepressants. My ex-marine boss called me a, “hard worker.”
  27. I have rescued friends from the side of the highway whose car hit a moose in a New Hampshire snowstorm.
  28. I have bailed two friends out of jail.
  29. As a yoga teacher, I’m the first member of my family to join the fitness industry.
  30. A few weeks after being fired an invitation to work at the White House arrived in my Inbox.
  31. I love great design work and have had design work run for international clients.
  32. Currently, I help raise money for two non-profits.
  33. I have had a few, “Devil Wears Prada” jobs spent running all over New York City like a mad woman in the rain/cold. 
  34. I toughed in through my first year in New York City and learned how to make it work.
  35. I love to show New York City to visitors.
  36. I love incredible theater and almost all kinds of music.
  37. I've conquered all kinds of fears rappelling, zip lining, arrow breaking (ask me about it), 
  38. I am a coordinator at TEDxUpperEastSide along with that talented rock star, Richard Dedor.
  39. I can travel solo and be happy.
  40. I achieved my dream of working on a fashion photography shoot in a mansion.
  41. I landed my very first marketing client and get to work on projects I believe in.
  42. I placed my very first publicity piece in WIRED for a Discovery Channel show in WIRED magazine. Alexis Madrigral is hereby my favorite journalist of all time.
  43. I've already survived the worst day of my life. Try loosing two dogs in one day.
  44. I love old hollywood glamour.
  45. I was voted "happiest," in my senior class.
  46. Being a graduate of "art school" made me appreciate people who make and present things to the universe. 
  47. I have refined taste but I also enjoy simple stuff like tacos.
  48. I'm curious about things I was not brave enough to be interested in at school like inventing, programming, and math. 
  49. I love fashion and believe it can empower women.
  50. I've been known to dance in random public places like the supermarket.
  51. Living an inspring life matters to me.
  52. Making this list took hours and I pushed on through!

52 Lists: Words That Move My Soul

Have you discovered that I love a group blogging challenge? Moorea Seal has a 52 Lists project, which is SO much fun. I'm addicted to list making. I learned a few things by crafting this particular list, like how long it's been since I thought about the word, joy. Happiness, is such an over used word that it scares me that when I hear it I go, "Oh okay yea sure!" I appreciated this check in because I'm going to stop blowing off happiness and joy. They still mean everything.

Scintilla Project: The 50+ Things I Won't Settle For:

Today the Scintilla Project asked, what in your life is there no turning back from?  I'd like to not repeat the SAME stuff over and over again. I once heard Deepak Chopra say that we  almost never have an original thought because we walk around obsessing about what we obsessed about yesterday.  My first no turning back moment is that I'd to stop thinking the same things and having the same discussions. 

Life requires you not just to dream big but to also know what doesn't work for you. I am in a crossroads position where I need to decide where to focus everything about me.  For the first time in my life, I've put together a list of what I won't settle for. I can say that I've felt all of these feelings before and I will again.  Avoiding a feeling is the best way to have it again and so much more of it. Yet, there has to be a way to build and craft a life based on experience.

Here are 50+ things I won't settle for anymore:

To live somewhere with frigid and gray weather

To worry about money and finances. Money follows people being interesting. 

To be trapped from career growth

To lack a mentor

To have a boss

To avoid making decisions or taking action

To be overly critical of myself and feel like a disappointment

To live by arbitrary rules that don't encourage me

To work a position with set hours

To work with clients that I don’t love

To work in a uncreative space with bad lighting

To do Excel and data analysis

To figure out why something won't print or scan.

To be buried in paperwork

To make myself small to please others

To fight the trends of the economy

To feel disorganized or unprofessional

To have writer’s or other creative blocks

To undervalue my skills

To waste time with bad time management

To have out of date marketing materials

To ask permission to learn something new

To be isolated from connection

To feel lost and directionless

To feel alone or isolated

To feel dependent on someone else for survival

To get much less then I give

To get more then I give

To feel distant from friends and family

To feel unsupported or like I’m too big for my britches

To be afraid that men can’t handle commitment

To feel like I’m chasing a guy into a relationship

To feel like I have to change my body for someone else

To feel trapped or like I can’t be adventurous

To be afraid of abandonment

To be fat or unhealthy 

To feel like I can’t or don’t take care of myself

To feel a lack of energy

To ignore health problems

To feel like I don’t understand my body

To miss things because I didn’t schedule fun activities

To be afraid to be vulnerable

To be disrespected

To disrespect myself

To do somebody else’s errands and shopping

To seek the approval of others

To speak of myself poorly

To be a negative person

To take myself too seriously

To have a small spirit

To ask permission

To have regrets

To forget to celebrate

The Scintilla Project! Sliding Down Waterfalls, How to Get Thrown Out of a Volunteer Program in Costa Rica, and Describe a Time When Your Character was Tested:

Congratulations to the ladies of the Scintilla Project for launching their annual blog challenge. Make sure you sign up!

The last thing you should put on the Internet is that you were thrown out on your boomboom by the Cross Cultural Solutions volunteer program for watching a man old enough to be your father (and fellow volunteer) have a beer.  I sat at a table and listened to Mark recant his family trips to Disney World with his grandchildren. Another 19 year old volunteer practiced his Spanish with the other guests.  Expulsion on the first day for drinking with two almost strangers has to be a new record right? Did I mention that I'm allergic to the gluten in beer and can't drink it? We hadn't even made it to the orientation. Apparently, you're not supposed to leave the house. 

I went for a walk around Cartago, Costa Rica with two other volunteers and we came home at 8:00pm. I found the other girls in my room writing in their diaries and reading. The next morning I found myself with Ben and Mark (the two other volunteers) out on the street in a unfamilar country. What was I going to do now?

I learned something big this week. It's not what happens but how much fun you have after. Scarlett Macaws flew over my head on the beach. I sat next to 19 year old Ben as he freaked out about what to tell his parents and I remembered a time when every ending shook me to the core and unhinged my self worth.

I got in the car with two guys I had met only the night before and went off to a strange beach in Costa Rica.  Jaco Beach turned out to be all the way across the country. We took every winding road and it is nerve wracking riding off to an unknown part of the world with strangers. After schlepping our luggage around town we found a nice hotel right on the ocean. This hotel would turn out to be the prime hangout for hookers and I feel like I got a real education as to how a developing economy in Latin America works.

The food in Costa Rica is incredible. Every piece of fruit was more delicious then the next. 

In Jaco Beach, I worked through my very uncomfortable fear of heights. Rappelling down a waterfall would have been terrifying a few years ago. I turned down the chance to rappel in Israel. Climbing backwards,  I remembered a time when I thought I could have never become a yoga teacher. Finally, I could see how I am becoming stronger on the inside and out. At one point I slipped on the waterfall and started yelling expletives because I was pinned backwards to the waterfall with my ropes. I could keep talking to myself or I could get moving. 

Next, I conquered the zip line. I had to close my eyes for take off and landing. The few seconds I saw of the rain forest flying by are something I will never forget.

It's not what you get thrown out of. It's what you DO after. Every ending is a new beginning of a trip to the beach. You have no idea how long I've waited to feel this okay with what life hands me. 

This is the it we are running around looking for:

I want to find people who can stop planning for the future. 

Can we please start living like this is ALL there is?

I'm over this mentality:

If everything has to be constantly getting better why celebrate? Just throw out this moment because you need something more. Constantly ask, what's next? Believe everything will feel better if we just go do something more, "productive." We are constantly bombarded with reasons to check out and go numb. If you can't do enough eventually you stop feeling.  Decide doing something extra will make you into a whole, "new you."  Don't feel like life hasn't started until you achieve X.

The next thing on your list isn't more important. 

Connection is so meaningful because two people may be in the same room but they are so rarely in the same moment. 

Forget cheesy tips on living in the moment because that's just something we chase. Chasing living in the moment is just an excuse to fail at something unidentified. In our daily actions, (I am begging) can we stop manipulating life by trying to constantly make it better? Is it possible our spiritual assignment is to be happy with all of it? Right now...

What if we are with the right person because they are who is right there lying beside us? Following your heart can mean standing still. We can do less and be just as happy, if not more. 

What if we have arrived at everything we're supposed to have? This just may be the IT we are running around looking for. 

An actress tries to kickstart her waining career by telling everyone how famous she is. A guy makes a vision board for his future featuring supermodels ripped from a magazine. What do they have in common?

 All I know is we have every tool for planning for the future and we still can't do it. You can write down all of your plans but stop letting them cloud over everything right there in front of you. People miss so much because they have a plan. Your plan is so different from the beautiful options right in front of your face. If we celebrated our options we wouldn't have to obsessively plan things in a fury. What if you were already living your dream? 

Stop planning. This is it.

Currently!

1. I just opened the wedding invitation to my Dad's wedding! My best friend from college is coming up to New Hampshire for the first time  (to attend his wedding). It will be an entertaining week at home. I  want to try the zip line that goes through White Mountain National Forrest with all of my new siblings.  

2. I spent all of last week in Washington for the State of the Union. This is the second year in a row that I've been invited to attend a tweetup at the White House. On the way to the tweetup I met White House photographer, Pete Souza in Old Ebbit Grill. I think he has one of the coolest jobs...okay the coolest job EVER. I keep reminding myself how lucky I am to live somewhere where the top brass let you go inside.

2. I had some absolutely delicious food in DC!  Kathryn and I split a chocolate waffle at Tryst. Meskerem has delicious Ethiopian food. Brunch at Mintwood place is remarkable as seen below. Zaytinya had the healthiest Mediterranean food. I recommend the shrimp and the couscous at Zaytina. 

4. On the flight back from DC, I sat next to the former editor of BusinessWeek and FastCompany. Any aspiring writer will tell you an hour to pick the brains of someone who has interviewed world leaders is a privilege. I told him some of my best antics and he told me about being left on the runway by the airline. 

5. I love when people reach out to interview my clients and I don't have to chase down journalists. It means things are working with our marketing plans. Last year, I made the decision to only work with awesome clients I can believe in. That has changed my life. 

6. I taught my very first yoga class today. My teacher training program came with a mini internship. I was nervous and had to really think on me feet. I've taught before but only photography classes.  They tell new yoga teachers to stick to a script but I knew what I wanted to teach would change when I saw the students. I taught a mixture of restorative and more active poses. I don't think it was the most traditional yoga class! I'm remembering not to judge myself.  I grew a bunch today by doing something brand spankin new. I would love to be a restorative yoga teacher. 

6. We keep getting awesome speaker applications for TEDxUpperEastSide. I hope people have seen the website. We're currently looking for more speakers and sponsors. E-mail texuppereastside@gmail.com with questions.

7. In March, I will be in Costa Rica volunteering with CrossCultural Solutions. One of my goals is to dramatically improve my Spanish. Yes, I was supposed to be on their India program but I decided that when I get to India I want to be able to see all of it. A volunteer program doesn't have the same flexibility that travelling solo does. Cartago, Costa Rica offers whitewater rafting.

8. House of Cards on Netflix is my new favorite television show. Unlike the West Wing, House of Cards is a less pretty picture.  Every single line Kevin Spacey has is snarky and he's manipulating his way to the top. You will love it! I promise. I've been in love with Kevin Spacey's acting since I saw him play Richard II at the Brooklyn Academy of Music last year. He's the real deal. 

9. I'm participating in Marie Forleo's B-School program! I first heard about it in November. I'll keep you posted on how it goes here! The course goes for a few months so it is like a mini MBA. With a lot of pink flourishes. 

10. I'm behind on m goal to read 52 books this year. I'm two books behind schedule. I just read Steven Pressfield's Turning Pro. The most interesting part of Turning Pro is when Pressfield asks, "Are you in Shadow Career?" Meaning, did you give up on your dreams to chase the next available gig? This book is a reminder that you need an addiction to your own life. It's original and not just self help fluff. 

The Finale of Yoga Teacher Training:

Ladies and gentlemen, I am a yoga teacher! My 13 week course is over and I have passed my final. I am ready to go back to the first week of class on this blog and laugh about how much angst I had. My angst stemmed from feeling like I could never belong or fit into the fitness industry. I had a deeply held belief that I had to be something that I'm not to get through this class.

One of the reasons I love yoga is because it forces people to push through the blocks we develop around our body. I learned that you don't need to fix your body as much as you need all of your systems to share the effort. Energy flows the best when you have the capacity to keep energy moving. Balance leads to stagnation. Can you keep the energy in you flowing? 

Becoming a teacher had a funny learning curve. You see people around you doing things you'd like to do and you have to be patient. Even though I'm a teacher there are still asanas it will take me a long time to build up to.  Yoga does incredible things for your self image because you keep climbing mountains and challenging yourself. Sometimes the craziest and toughest challenge is to do nothing. 

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Yoga Teacher Training Week 10

In three weeks, I will have completed one of the biggest physical challenges I have ever taken on!  A yoga teacher isn't a glorified bimbo in a tight overpriced outfit. I undertook teacher training pretty afraid of the whole competitive yoga scene. The point of yoga is to get the body/mind connection unstuck. Often, my mind is full of things I want to do that just concentrating is hard. I have a love / hate relationship with multitasking.  Yoga trains your focus. So far, my biggest take away from teacher training is a more positive relationship with my body. Last night, my body wanted a Nutella, bananas, chocolate, and ice cream. 

In the last few months I 've had breakthrough and some humbling moments. I'm pretty afraid of heights and I just conquered the yoga headstand. It feels so good but I think I disturbed my neighbors practicing early on Saturday morning. If you watch people do something long enough you want to do it too!

To graduate, we have to memorize a ten minute script and I'm just starting to feel like I have something to teach that makes sense. I had a sales script in college and that just wasn't me. I hated using the same canned lines on everyone. I'm not shying away from the opportunity to be an organized teacher. The program allows us to teach a series of classes so in a few weeks I will be teaching to strangers! 

 Another class assignment is to assist another student while they take a class. I've been crammed into the corner of a room trying to help my friends balance on their toes. Last night, I assisted a friend new to yoga with the assistant manager of the school watching! If you want to feel out of place start adjusting your good buddy in their personal space. To celebrate twenty year of friendship I'll just be rearranging your thighs. That's normal in this field. After class we wound up across the street having delicious crepes served with ice cream. I refuse to feel guilty that my idea of health comes with DESSERT! 

Spirit Junkie by Gabrielle Bernstein #52books

This post is about anger. Anger is considered a masculine emotion so to write this post is to conquer my Internet narcissist. A real lady still considers throwing a martini. from time to time. Being authentic means telling you this:

In 2012, I found myself much angrier then I had ever been in my whole life. I have been angry with myself for not having a life plan and then angry with myself for being afraid of new adventures. That's called spinning your wheels.

I have felt angry with CEOs, colleagues, friends, and even my own home (when my dogs died in a car accident in my driveway). The summer night both of my dogs were locked in a car is the most alone I have ever felt. It's hard to write, but I imagined clearing everyone out of the house and setting fire to the family bed and breakfast. 

One breakup with a trendy digital agency made me examine how I deal with anger. I felt so disgusted when people took to a forum to talk smack about the internal politics at my old job. You think you want your deepest judgements confirmed but you don't. Anonymous avatars are demanding Christmas bonuses and making up rhymes to mask real names. Is there an Excel sheet or office supply that can't start an argument?  I wanted things to be different and there I was reading about shared drama from other colleagues who couldn't take the controlling cliques. I felt like it all confirmed my worst fear: petty fights will always squash any attempt to do original and creative work. I had gone back to high school. 

I felt temporary relief that I had been right, that I had been sucker punched hard, and that the company kool-aid took my friends. Feeling written off will make you feel crazy. 

My anger continued to fester when I thought about how I would explain to an outsider that the seemingly perfect company wasn't right for me. All this happened while they were leaking employees. I had revenge at least six times and still just wanted to sit back at my desk. I would go on to find a much different calling and I still missed competing for the best idea at a digital agency.

For the last few weeks, I've been working on a major Course in Miracles lesson. This spiritual work is not something I thought I would ever be doing.

It's not that sexy to turn and look inwards. If you look for something to be hurt over you'll find it. For example, my aunt often makes comments about my weight. In my family, we say everything. Then this week she wrote a nice comment on Facebook and I still felt hurt. I took her compliment as, "Oh, she's finally changed her mind."  

Try wrapping your brain around that all negative thinking is made up by your own ego. Then add to that this truth, "Nothing but love is the truth." Resentment is entirely made up of fear of not being enough.

Tonight, when I saw something on Facebook from a friend at my old job I immediately felt disappointed, hurt, and misunderstood. I idolized my old job so every small let down felt huge. H

I've been in entire relationships and companies driven by ego. Then you go study spiritual teachings and find out most of this is on ME for blocking out love.

I can tell you one thing: I don't want to be that person that lives in fear and stays isolated.

The outside world reflects our internal state. 

No one is sent to anyone by accident.

All resentments are an assignment. You're guided to every relationship to transcend the ego's belief that you're alone.

While reading Spirit Junkie I conquered the yoga headstand! I'm supposedly afraid of heights but I've been practicing. Then this morning, I flipped over backwards and knew I was getting closer. Now this is all I want to do. :)

Bossypants by Tina Fey #52Books

This week has been BRUTAL. I'm finally back on the get stuff done train.I hate having a cold and I've spent a small fortune on having soup delivered to my apartment in troughs. I'm pretty sure the entire house smells like chicken soup. I know!

I feel like I should be supercharged for the New Year but I'm pretty lukewarm on it being January.  This may have something to do with having Frankenwoman's cold. Here's the latest book review as you congratulate me on being able to breathe out of my adorable nose.

Bossypants is a whole lot of rambling and I most certainly got here after reading the first chapter of a book about a little boy who loses his uncle to AIDS. Sometimes, I get the latest 5 star novel and it's like I need sensitivity training.

My favorite Tina Fey work is the movie Date Night with Steve Carell. I love that Tina Fey wrote the movie Mean Girls. Fey got her start in the Second CIty Impov Troop. This book really made me want to take improv classes. In New York there's a troop called the Upright Citizens Brigade and I'd love to start taking classes there. There were some funny anecdotes in this book but really on two quotes on being a, "boss."  Fey totally has another book in her about acting, being the head writer for Saturday Night Live, and  so much more! I love her brand of feminism which you can just call winning. 

Where'd You Go Bernadette by Maria Semple #52Books

On of the most freezing of New York nights (hi January) sometimes you just have to surrender. That's why God made reading. This is the first week of real Winter because it  isn't brutal work for me until everything is no longer covered in lights. New Years Eve hits and now we're done with the idea that we'll all be so different...next year. So this is me being different...plowing through my 52 books projects. I'm feeling more interesting already. 

Where'd You Go Bernadette is written with snark and sass. I love the constant snark and sass. I'm learning how to do a book review without giving you a Hulk sized spoiler. Bernadette is an architect who has fallen from professional grace.

Some parts of this book are pretty unbelievable. Bernadette's daughter suggests the whole family take a trip to Antarctica to reconnect. That's the most absurd part: I can't imagine most kids walking in and asking for a trip to Antarctica and getting it. 

That's quite possible why it's so unbelievably beautiful. Doesn't everyone want to go the South Pole for Christmas? What's great about this book is that it builds a fascinating portrait of what kind of stress a creative person is under. It talks about what happens when artist stops creating and how they can reconnect with that part of their self. Most of this book is fueled by Bernadette's overactive mind and paranoia. 

I give this book four out of five stars because the ending is well, absurd but happy.

May Cause Miracles by Gabrielle Bernstein! #52 books

Happy New Year! I have decided to take on the ever popular, "read a book a week," challenge. Why? Like almost everyone I know, I waste time on social media, checking my e-mail, or following scandalous news stories.

 My friend Yoni did this challenge last year and I'm so crazy proud of him! I forgive myself for sometimes getting distracted and not reading enough. There is still no substitute for a book that cracks you open and makes you see the world even a smidgen differently! 

I was so skeptical of May Cause Miracles. If you are a Gen Y girl you are overwhelmed by all the bubble gum goal setting gurus. We get pitched a new, "be better" product everyday. The Internet is overflowing with goal setting courses. I am excited to say this is the best, "get your life together" book I have seen. It makes you look at how you think before it promises you a new car. You don't get to watch the inspirational video and then go right back to being the same. 

Gabrielle Bernsteain teaches her twist on A Course in Miracles. I own a copy of A Corse in Miracles, which is a non religious spiritual study program. ACM is a huge book. There is so much text that you do need a teacher to break it down for you. I'm sure self study works but this book is the size of the Bible.  I had some personally shocking moments reading this book.

“I forgive myself. I choose to see love instead of fear.””
— Gabrielle Bernstein

One of the exercises has you list your fears. This book doesn't work if you don't do your journal exercises, right? I am shocked that I came up with so many fears. These fears aren't the kind you see in thriller movies (snakes, sharks, spiders, and flooding Subway tunnels). These inner fears we all have are seemingly small personal ones like questioning your talents or your relationships. As I kept listing my most closely held fears, I realized I was cleaning out my soul for the New Year. Cool, right?  Most of the fear can be broken down into a few big topics but asking yourself what makes you vulnerable is so surprising.

This book talks a lot about self forgiveness. Self forgiveness doesn't sound like a real thing. Have you ever felt negatively about something and had no idea how to get rid of that deeply held resentment?  Have you ever felt guilt or maybe even regret? May Cause Miracles breaks down how to go through your past and forgive yourself. If you are committed to going back through and forgiving yourself for being human this feels like a surrender. I forced myself to let go of things I've kept in the back of my mind for most of my life. When I think about these things I am going to remember to let myself of the hook faster.

It's not just a book of mantras although it's full of powerful statements, "The light in other people is a reflection of yourself." That's a powerful one. If you REALLY want to do some New Year soul cleansing this is a wonderful book. It has really stuck with me to forgive myself faster, see the most beautiful part of something (or someone), and squash my ego centered fears. It may not be as easy as it sounds. These tools can really help anyone feel less isolated. We do this to ourselves. One of the most important parts of this book is how to squash feeling so separated from others. If you've ever felt disconnected or isolated from people that's your ego doing the talking. May Cause Miracles suggests that love is the only truth. Don't take just my word on the importance of a spiritual tune up. Try it for yourself!

The Best of 2012

I am looking over the best moments of 2012 and here are a few of them:

1. New Years Eve in New Orleans with Kathryn, Flannery, and Janell

2.That's the temple in Salt Lake City, Utah. The Altitude Design Summit was so much fun.

3. While in Utah an invitation showed up in my inbox to the White House.

4. President Obama came to New York City to speak at ABC Carpet and Home.

5. That's me being doing my happy spin on the top of Mt. Washington.

6. On my birthday, I went rock climbing which is hilarious because I'm afraid of heights.

7. In July, I took a wonderful workshop with Seth Godin. I met some incredible people and had some of the most fun I've had living in New York City.

8. That's my family doing all the eating.

9. For the first time, I went to Bloggers in Sin City. It's a really cool group of people and worth going.

10. I went to Florida, to see Flannery, Janell, and Kathryn. I didn't steal that car...

11. For my birthday, Kathryn and I went to San Francisco. I think it's possibly quirkier then New York. 

12. After my birthday in San Francisco, I went up to Portland. Portland has the most beautiful rose garden.

13. That's my favorite photo of my cousin taken working on a film set. We spent most of that day driving around Brooklyn and Queens.

14. That is the GIGANTIC yoga teacher training manual. GULP.

15. My Dad is getting married in April. All of my new siblings and my new niece made me this funny photo.

The Purpose of Life and my Awesome Conversation with Mastin Kipp

At Marie Forleo's Rich, Happy, and Hot Live event I asked spiritual teacher Mastin Kipp this question about living your life with purpose:

What do you do if you're the happiest on vacation/while travelling?

Everybody talks about purpose, purpose, and more purpose. Don't you ever want to say enough with all the purpose?

I am serious too! Then I bribed him with chocolate for help on my travel question.  I love to travel. How does that all fit into my career and relationships?

I had a momentary freak out that I am made to sit in a lounge chair by a pool with a hard day at work being a walk on the beach. Hard work is so important to me. Competition is fun and being awesome at my job matters to me. If you love what you do are you really working hard? How can I integrate everything I love into each day? Like everyone, I want to love what I do everyday (adventure seeking) and mean it. I just love every minute I've spent exploring somewhere new. I love the freedom of taking people into new environments. So this is what Mastin Kipp and I decided:

I am a catalyst for adventure. Based on all of my favorite memories, I love planning trips and experiences that make people feel free.

How would a catalyst for adventure live her life?  How can I incorporate my creative talents into designing more adventure for people?

Try brainstorming a list of your favorite memories. The common feelings are a great stepping stone to nailing down the purpose of your life.

What are you doing in your favorite memories?

A Thanksgiving Gratitute List

Everyone writes a gratitude list on Thanksgiving and here goes:

1. This year I am grateful for my colleagues who do things like buy me chicken wings and beer. Nobody ever said, "Oh no not more chicken wings." 

2. I am grateful to EVERY colleague I have ever had. It's not easy to be all vulnerable in a hyper competitive office setting so know that I secretly love ALL of you. I just can't say it because that would be WEIRD. If we've ever sat in a teeny tiny room trying to come up with ideas, you're my fave. 

3. I write about it often but I work in a soup kitchen. I'm learning a lot about what it's like to have nothing and live on the streets. One woman really effects me the most. We see more men come in so single older women stick out. She is in her upper 60's and living on the trains. I can't imagine being as frail as she is and being on the streets. She's not on the streets because she's too tough or into anything bad. I believe she's never been given counseling or treated. She's mostly angry about the hand she's been dealt. II see her mental stability go up and down each week. I know it would break my spirit if I had nowhere to lay my head. I'm thankful for a safe place to go everyday. 

4. I'm getting a new Mommy in April and a whole passel of new siblings! My Dad is getting married on April 13th. 

5. In April, I will also get a new niece. I have one new baby cousin and another coming soon! There are three babies in my family right now. I love shopping for their presents. I love it when my family grows

6. Living in New York City!  NYC runs on a miracle. It's this web of islands connected by underground tubes and bridges. It's full of creative people and traffic. It was never a "practical idea." Everyone who lives here believes in the impossible. I live on the same street as the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Museum of Natural History. I don't think I get that I am doing exactly what I wanted to be doing as a kid. Visiting Manhattan is reserved for special treats when you're a kid growing up in Jersey. 

7. In July, both of my dogs died in a car accident. It was the worst day of my whole life. I left my house and just started walking for miles.  They were incredible pets. I have so many great memories of taking them to the lake or the beach. They loved to go for rides in the car.  This week I passed the cutest dog in a pet shop window and had to do everything to keep from buying it. I know pet shops are bad news but this King Charles was SO adorable.  My building forbids pets but I'm grateful to feel ready to have another dog. I love animals. Tonight, I went to see the movie the Life of Pi, which is a great tribute to what animals teach us.

8. I am in love with the movies. A great movie makes me feel like I get to live in another person's brain. I am always wondering what other people are thinking so you can imagine how excited I get to go see it. Also, there's nothing like a magical movie moment like when bullets fly out of a convertible's headlights in a Bond movie. There are double points if a movie is shot on location in some exotic place. Movie rule #1 there are no bad shots of London. A huge hug to the movies for being my home away from home. 

9.Yoga teacher training! I'm taking a course on changing people's lives....

10. My Dad! He's coming to town to visit little ole me in December.

Happy Thanksgiving!